Marooned.

French Navy by Camera Obscura

We met by a trick of fate/
French navy, my sailor/
I wanted to control it/
But love I couldn’t hold it.

I must get out of this impasse.
I need to stick to my resolve.
I need to make up my mind.

I tell my friends to go for it in their situations, but I stay by the sidelines in mine.
Its a matter of knowing the game, I suppose, and in this game of mine, I’ll lose.

Simply put.
I have to matter. I have to mean something more.
To be cared for.

For the record, I’m not looking for marriage – yet. (Are you crazy??!)

One kiss
& I’m lost.

I’m lost.
I’m trapped.
In my own decisions.
And indecisions.
Which direction does regret lie?

A weak heart.
Doesn’t work without emotional
Support.
But from him, that, I won’t
Receive.

After being told I was ridiculous,
That what I was meant to do was
Obvious
And that I was being worried about.

I said the hard words,
but the heart won’t listen.

Don’t I fucking deserve better than this.

I want that magic, that spark, without the guilt.

Is it so hard to find someone at the right time, that tells me he wants me?

But then again, magic and sparks are so momentary; so I guess, it was what I got.

/

No one ever told me when I was alone
They just thought I’d know better better

The hardest part, this troubled heart has ever yet been through now,
Was heal the scars that got their start inside someone like you now,
For had I known or I’d been shown back when how long it’d take me,
To break the charms that brought me harm and all but would erase me

- “Better” by Guns & Roses

不敢打给你
我找不到原因

。

。

一个人撑伞
一个人擦泪
一个人好累

.

.

I feel the same way every time the song plays. And the song is so achingly beautiful.