Marooned.

Sometimes, it just feels like I can never measure up. And I don’t even know what I’m comparing myself to, so technically, it doesn’t make any sense.

Looking at Mich’s hatemail, it kind of makes me wonder what people think about people. And how wrong they can be. Especially after talking to G, and us realising that we are very judgmental. But you know, I can’t help it! But its not as if I don’t change my opinion of people, and I will feel bad when I’ve misjudged someone. But not saying what I think doesn’t change the fact that I judge people and things like that, its just that people won’t know it, right? And I guess, that isn’t good in itself either: ‘Don’t judge, or you too will be judged.’ This reminds me of an episode of ‘House’, where the patient can’t help but be brutally honest, and his judgmental side comes up a lot, and it nearly destroys his marriage. But the fact that he doesn’t voice out his opinions all the time, is just being human, and having EQ.

My paycheck just came, from my 2 months of temping, and it will pay for another term of Japanese lessons. I need a job, all these expenses are piling up, and I’m thinking of how much I’m going to be spending in Japan and I’m like ‘AAAHHHhhh!!!!!!!’ Every few days, I’ll suddenly think of new things to consider before going. And today, it was about keitai denwa (cellphones). And I was browsing the Softbank and NTT Docomo websites to see whether prepaid was plausible, and the costs etc but they were too confusing. And then there were companies renting phones for short to medium term periods, and I can’t decide which is a better option.

And when I met G today, he told me about his friend not getting her exchange because of OIR’s screwup and handing in of her application LATE, after they had confirmed it with her. And because they got the reply from the host school late, they were unable to give her her other better choices, but are probably left with the “leftover” slots in other less demanded for schools. Like OMG. I will kill OIR if they did that to me!! I’m kind of worried right now, because of my late submission of the financial support evidence. Oh die. KSL better send me a positve reply from Rikkyo soon.

I really need a part time job. Especially after being very very decadent over the last week, with online shopping with Nicole – it was a very good offer on dorothyperkins.com! And then a full body massage yesterday – I’m still aching from it a little, but it was so good despite the teeth gritting pain when it was her elbows to my stiff muscles.

Oh yeah, instead of studying over the weekend, I made a new bag. Pics will be up, when I finally finish the straps after a visit to Spotlight for the buckles.

After using twitter. Its suddenly way to troublesome to blog.
My sis is back, and is making me realise how terrible my grammar is – although she already has over the internet prior to getting back. Shites. Haha. I shall blame accountancy.

I was reading my fave blogs and I chanced upon this on fashionisspinach.com:

Like how awesome is that! (: Every once in a while, we need a dose of ‘Sound of Music’!

Makes me happy just watching it. Hee.

Just got back from a night out with the boys. Went to Wala after they played ‘Left For Dead’ and I finished my Japanese class. It was quite fun seeing Bingliang, Weijie and Jeremiah. Got some food, drinks, talked a lot of shit. Weijie drank pretty much 90% of a jug of beer, 2 bottles, and insisted he was fine. He wasn’t, not really. He’s quite hilarious when he’s high, but he insists he’s sober. Although he did make some sense with his comments here and there.

On the drive home, the moon was right in front of me, and it was so big, and bright, and beautiful. Then I looked up at the sky when I got home, and it was a fairly cloudless night, so the stars were shining bright. It was awesome.

This break week was shit, because I had to study for Jap test, Nego test (it so was an exam, frikking hell 40%), still had to attend Ethics class, finish my Nego project, and prepare for my AFA presentation. Although the stress came from slacking the first few days away, but I think I deserved it. I made a new pencil box!

Maybe I had too much time, or I just felt like wasting time. Oh wells, makes me happy. And I think its pretty. (:

On a funny note, this week’s ethics class was quite awesome. A group of us, Damien, Bingliang, Jianwei, JJ, Hilda, Raymond and I went to Morton’s for cocktails and steak sandwiches. So that ended at about 645pm. Class was at 7pm. We got down to class, all late, several red-faced. Then after rushing to class, and settling down. We all look to the slides that the group was presenting on this week: Alcoholism. We all burst out laughing. And I was then informed by Yasmin that half the class was high, from Brewerk’s happy hour super cheap beer, or Ice Cold Beer, and us, Morton’s. And prof Erin was super cool about it, and she even made fun of us, I do love her british humor! She went, ‘From the looks of it, some of you guys can hold your liquour better than others,’ she says that the colour of our faces are a gauge. Haha. Ethics was fun, mainly because the people in it was fun, funny and to a certain extent very full of shit. It was our last class for ethics before prof Erin goes back to UK for health reasons, so I bought a hugeass card, got everyone to write – and erm vandalize it – and we gave it to her. Hope she liked it!

UNIQLO is in Singapore! I’m super excited. (: I want new jeans!! Although it may be cheaper.. a little.. in Japan. New stores are always exciting! I can’t wait for H&M to get to our shores, but they better not only hold insanely expensive pieces, because I cherish my dear little affordable H&M I saw in Sweden/Denmark/Norway/France/UK. The HongKong one didn’t live up to expectations, mainly due to the lack of range, and prices were well, not that great.

An hour more before I’ve got to drag my feet to Negotiation class, although I think it’ll be a fun lesson again today, with more presentations about differnt cultures’ negotiation styles. It was fairly hilarious last week, when we did a lot of Asian countries, and we had funny stories about bargaining, corruption, bribes, “gifts”, losing face etc.

I’m still kind of exhausted from one nights’ lack of rest, due to my brother bluffing me that our prawning session will last only 3 hours max, and telling me, “At most 2am ok!”

Nicole prawning!

Yummy barbecued prawns (:

Prawn lover

It was real fun though. Caught 16 prawns, paid $30 for 3 hours of renting the fishing rod. And it was damn yums, especially bizarre for me because I don’t like to eat prawns!

I only got to bed past 4am, because the 3 hours did not include driving there, cooking prawns, eating, and extra time to prawn because they aren’t that “ngiao”. I had to wake up for work at 7am, and had class at 7pm till 1015. I think I totally shut down halfway through class. I even overslept when I got home in the afternoon, and didn’t go for the talk in the afternoon. Heh.

I think that I always manage to do all my most unnecessary, nonsensical things, right before major tests, just to escape from the need to sit at my desk and slog away. I can’t sit still. For the whole of Saturday afternoon, my attempts at studying was mostly fraught with the need to remind myself not to get up and go to the kitchen, not to open another mozilla browser and check my friend’s blog again, because she hasn’t updated it in the past 5 mins.

It culminated in me uploading tonnes of photos to iPhoto, naming them, adding location information, browsing through hundreds of photos and reminiscing my travels around the globe. I am totally missing my time in Scandinavia – I want to go walk around the awesome towns, in the land of the midnight sun, bask in the long days, trek around and sitting by waterfalls, kayak in the fjords.

And more procrastinating, but I decided its high time I made use of these photos. They are about a year old already. Growing moldy in my hard drive.

The BSM Scandinavia 2008.

Stockholm! It was gorgeous.

And there are tonnes more photos from where these came from. Not to mention my lone traipse into Norway, which was amazing too!

And further time wastage was seen in me staying over at Mayjean’s, although it did help me do some work seeing her hardworking self. Although it did involve us adium-ing each other about being sleepy and her telling me she knows I’m not doing my work.

And today, I joined Giuseppe for prata, before sending him off to the airport for his flight back to Switzerland, with Raymond and his friends, Jeanette and Justin. It was quite fun getting to know Giuseppe, and Raymond’s other friends! I wish I was able to fly off to Switzerland too, to just get out of here, to travel, to taste new dishes, to see new sights.

And I don’t know what I feel anymore. Like what Mayjean sang/typed to me:

If it makes you happy,
It can’t be that bad.
If it makes you happy,
Why the hell are you so sad?
- Sheryl Crow’s “If it makes you happy”

Random: Every time I see makeup editorials where they critique the makeup, and they usually pour the foundations out, break the pencils, cut off the lipsticks, break the eye shadows and other evil things to the makeup, my only thought is: WTF! They are wasting good, expensive makeup!! And this hits me even more every time I look at the receipt after purchasing makeup, sigh. The price of beauty, or attempts in that direction at least.